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Flintoff, splint-off, not a toff

The results of our Andrew Flintoff limerick competition

Will Luke
Will Luke
31-Jul-2009
Andrew Flintoff, arms outstretched, celebrates one of his five wickets on his final appearance in a Lord's Test, England v Australia, 2nd Test, Lord's, 5th day, July 20, 2009

Never before has a cricketer generated so many limericks...  •  PA Photos

The extended rain delay on the first day at Edgbaston gave us, and you, a chance for a bit of fun: a limerick competition, starting with the line: There once was a man named Flintoff. Hundreds of entries came in, and here are the best of the bunch. Congratulations to Steve Fox, who wins a copy of Patrick Kidd's Best of Enemies
Steve Fox UK
There once was a man named Flintoff,
'Oft injured, he rarely had the splint off,
But ten overs at Lord's,
Went through 'Stralia like swords.
And with five wickets in hand he did sprint off
Steve Hodson Toronto
There once was a man named Flintoff,
Was one of the lads - not a toff.
Always bowled with hostility,
And with no lack of ability,
He was much in the same class as Gough.
John King UK
There once was a man called Flintoff
Whose bouncers damn near took your head off
But with his bad knee
We'll just have to see
If his dancing is better than that Gough
John Catt Australia
There once was a man named Flintoff
Who went into bat with his pads off
Two fours and a six
Then the ball hit his sticks
So his next port of call was the beer trough
Dan Binks UK
There once was a man named Flintoff
England's best allrounder since Both
They both like to sink,
A pint, so you'd think;
Twice before suggesting a drink-off
Glen Australia
There once was a man called Flintoff,
Whose career was a little on/off
Don't retire yet you wimp
Look how you bowled with that limp
Or we might have to resurrect Both
Shaun Gibbs
There once was a man known as Flintoff
Whose captain said "Please take that splint off,
I don't care for your knee
We are seven for three.
And we'll need you to bat in a min't - Hoff"
The Phantom Poet
There once was a man named Flintoff
Did a lap in the rain just to show-off
Round the ground he did go
In a pink pedalo
With two blondes and bottle of Smirnoff
Nick Harrison UK
There once was a man named Flintoff
Whose sledging was too naughty to print off
A choice word or three
Starts with 'f', 's' or 'c'
But that's all I can give you a hint of!

Will Luke is assistant editor of Cricinfo