'I am just loving life at the moment' - Jesse Ryder

Jesse Ryder is happy just to be playing again with his team-mates. At one point he had got so fed up of everything he stopped playing. When he wanted to return, he was seriously injured in an assault and had to fight for his life. He has finally returned to the cricket field again. He knows he has underachieved in his career for various reasons. For the moment, though, he is grateful just to be able to be part of the New Zealand side, although having gone through what he has, he agrees there is a lot more to life than cricket.

"Yeah, the year I have had last year, you certainly can say that but I have worked hard over the season to get back into this side," Ryder said. "I am just happy being back and involved with the team.

"I just love the sport, you know. And to have the enjoyment again. A couple of years ago, I stopped playing international cricket because I wasn't enjoying it. Just a lot of off-field stuff going on, just stuff I don't really want to talk about. It's in the past now. I think the break did me wonders. To be back and enjoying cricket again, I am just loving life at the moment. I have worked real hard over the winter and this season to lose heaps of weight, and I am feeling really good at the moment."

The game he had stopped enjoying is what has drawn him back onto the field. Ryder shifted to Otago in New Zealand domestic cricket, and the change turned it around for him. "I figured it's the time off I have had," Ryder said. "The move to Otago, that has done me wonders. New set-up, new team, new environment. That sort of brought back the passion to get back into the international side.

"It (cricket) has always been a motivation. I wanted to first and foremost fare well for Otago when I first went down there, and making the Black Caps squad again was just the goal I had set in place for the start of the season. I am just lucky enough to be playing after what happened."

Ryder said he had learned from his past to take life at an easier pace, and was "pretty chilled out" now. "I don't let too much bother me, which is a good thing," Ryder said. "I know in the past, I have let stuff get to me and get angry and beat myself up and stuff like that, especially when not scoring runs. But these days, it is a lot more relaxed and lot more easy-going, which is probably making the cricket easy as well."

Getting back was an achievement, but Ryder knows he could have done a lot more with the talent he has. "I know deep down that I probably haven't fulfilled my potential, but you know I have got time to do that, and I am just finding my feet back in the New Zealand team at the moment. Hopefully I can continue the form I have shown," Ryder said.

That Ryder is in superb touch was evident in the ODIs against India, but he could not convert even one of his five starts. "That was probably the frustrating thing," Ryder said. "I was getting starts, but wasn't able to carry on. I kept throwing it away a little bit, but they bowled well at times as well. Getting the start and getting out was the frustrating thing."

Ryder is part of the Test squad only as cover for Ross Taylor but he said the longest format was the one he wanted to make his name in. "I'd love to be playing Test cricket," Ryder said. "I want to work on the average and stuff like that, and be known as one of New Zealand's best Test batsmen. In the past, I have done well against India. Certainly that always gives you confidence going in to a series like this. All would depend on if I am playing or not, so I hopefully I can get a run in one of the games.

"I value Test cricket. I think it's the true traditional game of cricket. You have to got to work a little harder for your runs and stuff like that in the Test arena. It's Test cricket for me, probably the biggest one that I want to play."