One man band

Reality is rarely palatable, but there is no escaping it. India's 1-0 victory over England might have helped them edge ahead of Pakistan in the ICC's Test championship table, but it has merely confirmed a truth the Indian fan would rather not confront. From an abysmal eighth, India have now surged ahead to a pitiful seventh, ahead of Pakistan (who haven't played a Test for two months now), Zimbabwe and Bangladesh. In Test cricket, India are decidedly C-grade, and even memories of the glorious win over Australia can't wipe away the ignominy of our lowly status.

It is galling how India have steadily declined, instead of building on that victory. The promising new set of pace bowlers has been replaced by another set of promising new-ball bowlers, but Javagal Srinath, despite his limitations, remains India's only Test-class pacer. The Indian spinners have done nothing to prove that they aren't much more than friendly support bowlers without muddy pitches and the SG ball; and the myth about the Indian middle order has been laid to rest conclusively. Sachin Tendulkar may have scored over 300 in four innings, but India would have been hard-pressed to save the Bangalore Test had five full days of play been possible. Without him, they would surely have been walloped. And to think that this was an English attack with less than 100 wickets between them.

While Deep Dasgupta and Rahul Dravid milked the England bowlers on the second day of the first Test, Mohinder Amarnath was heard remarking how the English bowlers represented the best opportunity for the Indian batsmen to repair their averages. He spoke too soon. Sourav Ganguly and Co. must now wait for Zimbabwe. Or perhaps Mr Dalmiya could be persuaded to organise a few Tests with Bangladesh. Averages be damned, the Indian batting has been an embarrassment.

In the race for the most abused cricket phrase of the year, it's a close call between "the spirit of the game" and "gentleman's game". These are not only bad clichés, they are also bogus sentiments. Cricket stopped being a social event a century ago: it's a competitive sport; it needs to be played like one. Michael Vaughan can hardly be considered a professional if he expects a reprieve after grabbing a live ball. But he turned a matter of momentary ill-judgement to one of considered stupidity by proclaiming that England wouldn't have appealed in a similar case.

By the same standards, the reactions to Nasser Hussain's leg theory have swung between self-righteous and nonsensically hysterical. While parallels with Bodyline were quickly dredged up, not many seemed to realise that we had just witnessed a fascinating series, though the final scoreline didn't reflect it.

Steve Waugh's Australians have changed the way Test cricket is played. And because they have been so spectacularly successful, the world now believes that good Test cricket is all about aggressive strokeplay and a glut of runs. Quick scoring is attractive, yes, but Test cricket is about more than scoring four an over. It's about a contest that unfolds in a multi-layered fashion over five days. It's a battle of will and nerves, a test of endurance and human character. Hussain was not being unsporting, he was merely trying to optimise his resources. The leg-side bowling wasn't a killjoy, it added a sheen to Tendulkar's performance which would have been passed off as a good-day-in the-office kind of knock if he hadn't been suitably challenged. Remember his double hundreds, anyone?