Otago for the Black Caps - it's incontrovertible

(Two cricket fanatics with their views on world cricket from a Dunedin sofa)

"Mate, I'm a little worried about our Otago Shell Trophy side."

"Worried? How can you be worried?"

"Well, they've hardly burst out of the stalls have they? Against CD and Wellington they didn't even make it to the final day."

"Mate, I'm surprised you can't see what's happening here. Let me take you through it slowly, watch my lips."

"I'm watching."

"For over a hundred years now, Otago have been known primarily for producing absolute top quality international cricketers - Bert Sutcliffe, Glenn Turner - need I go on?"

"You needn't pal, your point is made."

"Exactly. Producing world-class cricketers is what we do. And in the past, the New Zealand selectors have recognised this. Correct me if I'm wrong cobber, but they picked both Sutcliffe and Turner to play for New Zealand."

"They did that, yes, you're absolutely onto it."

"Now take Mark Richardson. He scores a stunning hundred against the West Indies in 1995 with Lara sledging him every ball - and yet only recently does Richardson get moved up. And when he is finally moved up, he shows he is quite clearly the soundest opening batsman in world cricket today."

"He is undoubtedly that, he has batted beautifully all summer."

"Now I have to be careful with what I say next mate, for you know I rated Paddles as one helluva bowler."

"You were the first to rate him if I recall."

"I was. He was almost certainly the greatest bowler of all time. But I am just wondering if he has the same skill as a selector."

"How so?"

"Well mate, it is clear from what I have already said that the answer to both New Zealand and Otago's woes is to move the entire Otago Shell Trophy side into the CLEAR Black Caps. And yet I have a feeling - call me old-fashioned - but I have a feeling Sir Richard hasn't worked this out yet."

"I am quite sure he hasn't."

"Otago have already created the bulk of the best cricketers in the country. The world's finest all-rounders Cairns and Nash may not play for us now, but they were fully-formed when they left here. And it doesn't stop there - consider those incredible hitters of the ball, Gaffaney and Hore, these are players who would rip that South African pace attack to shreds. They're wasted in Shell Trophy cricket."

"Wasted?"

"Wasted. It's all about finding your best playing level. Take the England soccer team. They can barely score a goal in an empty stadium - they repeatedly go out and draw nil-all with tiny countries no bigger than the MCG. Manchester United would beat these teams by ten goals in their sleep. It's all about levels. England should actually be playing in the Scottish second division, while if Manchester United played as England in the next World Cup, they'd win it in a canter."

"And Otago would beat South Africa?"

"The smart money would be on that happening, yes. It's Sir Richard's call. You know, it's not rocket science, the evidence is incontrovertible."