Sledging, it's made Australia great, mate

(Two cricket fanatics with their views on world cricket from a Dunedin sofa)

"Mate, where do you stand on sledging?"

"I respect it with the same respect I hold for every aspect of the modern game, cobber. It's made Australia great, their runs are in the book, you can't possibly argue with it."

"My people tell me those Australian women had all passed Sledging 101 at the Australian Institute of Sport too."

"Really?" Women sledge? I thought women were mature."

"Whatever it takes mate, and that Australian womens' team was a damned good one. The Otago women played them in a warmup game, and the locals thought they'd bolster their team with young Mike Hesson, just to stiffen the batting order."

"As you do."

"As you do, indeed. And those Aussie girls greeted Hesso most cordially when he arrived at the crease, as you might expect. Naturally he scored a hundred just to let them know what time it was."

"It's the only way of dealing with sledgers pal, you score a hundred. Ever done any yourself?"

"I remember one afternoon in Dunedin club cricket suggesting to Murray Deaker that if we put his brain in a bird it would fly backwards."

"You said that to Deaks? The man who went on to become the nation's finest sporting interviewer? Cripes, brave stuff. I didn't know you played senior cricket."

"Well, I said it to him as a spectator from the University Oval grandstand. At the top of my voice."

"Deaks look you up afterwards?"

"He did, yes. Deaks liked to talk things through, even way back then. 'Sofa' he said to me 'I don't want to hear that sort of talk from the terraces, I only want to hear it on the field."

"Deaks was ahead of his time, I've always said that."

"Deaks is the best. Anyone who bans rugby from his talkback show can put his slippers under my bed any time he wants."

"Settle, cobber, settle. But those 1970s Otago teams, which Deaks would have played for had he stayed, they were rightly rated by purists globally as benchmark sides. And they liked a bit of chat if I recall."

"Did they ever. What combinations they had in those teams - Boocky and Braces barking down the wicket, Wally Lees sinking his teeth in from behind, Brucey Blair and Lancer stamping around in the outfield like horses who wouldn't go into the stalls - batsmen had nowhere to turn mate, it must have been hell out there."

"And those Otago teams slaughtered everyone in sight."

"That they did. It's food for thought, mate, food for thought."

"How is the current Otago team in this regard?"

"Beyond reproach mate. And my people tell me they went under the sword up there in Auckland before Christmas too."

"Gnashing of teeth from the Aucks?"

"A lot of gnash, mate, yes. But the Otago boys never said a word. And won the game without even taking their brains out of the drawer."

"This is the strength of Otago cricket teams, cobber, they can win both with and without sledging. It's almost as if sledging isn't necessary. Radical concept, that."