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Introducing Grand Theft Cricket
New game combines various elements of two classic titles
R Rajkumar
23-Sep-2013
In a collaboration between the video game developers who brought you Brian Lara International Cricket 2007 (aka Ricky Ponting International Cricket 2007 if you lived in Australia, Yuvraj Singh International Cricket 2007 if you lived in India, and simply Cricket International 2007 if you lived in Zimbabwe) and those responsible for Grand Theft Auto, a new game series combining various elements of the two classics is being brought out in time to coincide with the ongoing Champions League.
The reviews of the new game have thus far been positive. "With features that range from guessing who the mole in the team is with a direct link to the ICC Anti-Corruption Unit (worth most points in the game, more than even a match-winning performance with ball or bat) to then bashing said mole to within an inch of his weaselly life (worth bonus points), GTC promises to be a real edge of the seat winner for hardcore gamers," raves Wired magazine.
"This is the one you've been waiting for," gushes Time. "And by 'you,' we mean hardcore cricket fans with a latent predisposition to violence and carjacking."
Full postThe plight of being Indian today
Are we answerable for the excesses of our cricket board? Hell, no
Sidin Vadukut
20-Sep-2013
My fellow Indians,
I feel your pain. I see your suffering. I smell the oily gravy of self-loathing that simmers inside the cast-iron cauldron of your consciousness, sprinkled with the shredded coriander of frustration and the sautéed raisins and cashew nuts of disappointment, and within which float the chunks of moist paneer that are your sense of despondence.
Why in god's name must we innocent Indians be expected to explain the sinister dealings of the BCCI?
Full postDepressed after the Ashes? Try other sports
How soccer, cycling and snooker can get you through those rare weeks when there isn't an Ashes
Alex Bowden
19-Sep-2013
English and Australian cricket fans who really pay attention to these things will notice that there isn't an Ashes on this week, nor anything approximating one. These are difficult times. Fortunately, I saw this coming and tried a few other sports in advance so that you could be better informed as to which might best fill the gap until the two teams meet up again in Brisbane. You might not have heard of some of these alternative sports, but try and keep an open mind about them. They may not be cricket, but surely they have something to offer. Surely?
Football
To be clear, I do not mean Aussie Rules here. There is a limit to what I'm willing to do for you people and that limit comes way before Aussie Rules. No, I'm talking about good old association football, or soccer.
To be clear, I do not mean Aussie Rules here. There is a limit to what I'm willing to do for you people and that limit comes way before Aussie Rules. No, I'm talking about good old association football, or soccer.
As far as I can tell, the sport involves 20 Shane Watsons and two Monty Panesars. The 20 Shane Watsons do the usual thing of allowing the ball to strike their leg, although a key difference seems to be that they do not leave the field sporting a sad expression shortly afterwards. The two Monty Panesars stand at either end and mostly palm the ball away rather than catching it, as you might expect. Bizarrely, no one bats.
Full postWhat they said about the England ODIs
Key figures give their thoughts on the England v Australia one-day series
Alan Tyers
17-Sep-2013
Ashley Giles: "Obviously this series was just a training exercise ahead of more important developmental practice series to come. It's not about getting the results today, it's about putting ourselves in a position to not get a result tomorrow."
Kevin Pietersen: "I think it's fantastic that Michael Carberry has had his chance. I mean, taken his chance. Fantastic. I wish him all the best in whatever he does next."
Michael Carberry: "I'll just go back to my county and carry on working on my running."
Full postIndian players threaten to muse on world events
Also, a fast-bowling injury, Hoggard's feat, and a Lehmann mishap
R Rajkumar
16-Sep-2013
Confused Lehmann sits Fawad down for a chat and a Coke
Darren Lehmann has been known for his old-fashioned way of doing things, including his much-publicised "beer-fuelled cricket chats" with players. In teetotalling Fawad Ahmed's case, however, the beverage of choice had to be a Coke, and the resulting meeting left Lehmann slightly nonplussed.
Darren Lehmann has been known for his old-fashioned way of doing things, including his much-publicised "beer-fuelled cricket chats" with players. In teetotalling Fawad Ahmed's case, however, the beverage of choice had to be a Coke, and the resulting meeting left Lehmann slightly nonplussed.
"I don't get it. By the second or third drink, we were still plainly lucid, and still talking about cricket instead of what would otherwise normally by then have been subjects ranging from the bartender's looks to what I had for breakfast that morning," moaned the coach. "I mean, we talked cricket for hours. I thought it would never end."
Lehmann complained that the session had left him feeling worse for wear, and that he woke up the next morning with a massive headache. "My wife made me promise never to drink soft drinks again," he said.
Full post'Don't be a victim of things I do to survive!'
In the latest Twitter round-up, cricketers do amazing and not-so-amazing things with their heads
Alex Bowden
13-Sep-2013
Sometimes I ask myself whether it's really worth poking fun at cricketers' use of punctuation in this column. I mean, what does anyone get out of it? It's Twitter. It's a carefree, disposable form of communication. What does it matter if someone makes a grammatical error? It's not like anyone's going to learn from that being flagged up in an irreverent social media round-up, is it?
Then I see an Australian cricketer needlessly include an apostrophe.
The apostrophe
Brett Lee's trying to communicate with us.
Full postBrett Lee's trying to communicate with us.
England's enviable perfect balance
How did the Ashes holders get their side just right?
Alan Tyers
10-Sep-2013
England skipper Eoin Morgan has refuted suggestions that the "balance of the side" was wrong in Sunday's heavy defeat to Australia at Old Trafford.
An Official Team England Team Selection Spokesperson Analyst Operative, speaking on condition of anonymity and that quotes would be totally made up, further defended the team.
"Very much so. I think that we got the balance of the side right. If you look at it, we've covered our bases in all the right areas.
Full postEngland fans thinking of implementing supporter rotation
A novel idea to get through a jam-packed tour without sustaining long-term psychological injury
Alex Bowden
09-Sep-2013
With the details of India's 2014 tour of England now finalised, supporters are faced with a situation where there is never more than seven days between international fixtures. Burnout is a realistic concern and so, many will be implementing a rotation policy to ensure they can get through the tour without sustaining long-term psychological injury.
England fan Edgar Daniels is cautiously optimistic that his family can successfully plot a course through five Tests, five one-dayers and the solitary T20.
"With the Tests against Sri Lanka finishing at the end of June, we should be going into the India Tests pretty fresh. That sets us up well for what will prove to be a hugely demanding period for England cricket fans - particularly for those with an interest in all formats of the game."
Full postFighting corruption? Look to American sport
The stats, the graphics, the jargon - can any honest-to-god fixer cope with it all?
Sidin Vadukut
03-Sep-2013
Take a casual glance at the world of cricket and you will be tempted to think that everything is well with the sport. We have just seen a pulsating if somewhat one-sided Ashes Test series, a thoroughly satisfying Champions Trophy tournament, and even an ongoing season of international women's cricket that gets more and more engrossing every minute and is well worth a watch during football half-time.
Yet this aura of well-being is but a deceptive veneer. In reality cricket is plagued by numerous problems. I think Michael Holding spoke for all of us real cricket fans when he recently wrote on the Wisden website: "Everything sucks. Everything must die. Cricket, pitches, people, stadiums, rules, lights, children, mini-cupcakes, Dan Brown, baby animals, zero-calorie noodles, everything sucks. Everything is horrible. I hate everything. Except death. Embrace me sweet death. I am okay with some types of kittens."
Very well put, Michael Holding.
Full postLehmann apologises to Broad over comments
And Panesar relieves himself of the burden of keeping the England team culture a secret
R Rajkumar
02-Sep-2013
Players take children, Root on Ashes victory lap
It was wonderful to see some of the England players bring their children out onto the field for their victory lap after the final Ashes Test came to a close last week. For a match that ended on such a disappointing, even acrimonious note, the sight of youngsters flouncing around the place with their fathers lent the evening some much-needed charm.
It was wonderful to see some of the England players bring their children out onto the field for their victory lap after the final Ashes Test came to a close last week. For a match that ended on such a disappointing, even acrimonious note, the sight of youngsters flouncing around the place with their fathers lent the evening some much-needed charm.
There was James Anderson and his daughter. There was Graeme Swann and Matt Prior, posing for photos with their sons, all decked out in England colours. And there was Alastair Cook and James Root, posing for pictures as well.
How was the youngster enjoying his outing, then? "Don't let him fool you," smiled Cook as Root attempted to hide behind daddy's legs. "He laps this stuff up." The proud skipper then let the little one run along, but not without warning him not to stray too far, else the bad man who punishes all naughty little boys, would show up to punch him in his little face again.
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