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Some vital numbers from the IPL
When it comes to the spangliest league of them all, if it can't be counted, it doesn't have a value. But they're not counting everything
Alex Bowden
18-Apr-2013
The IPL seems obsessed with numbers, providing running totals for everything from runs to wickets to sixes to tweets (over three million, apparently). They're even counting dot balls, and I'd guess there's some sort of a fine attached to each one. The general feeling seems to be that if it can't be counted, it doesn't have a value. But they're not counting everything. Here are some totals they've missed.
Adjectives: about three
"Great", "amazing" and "powerful". Apparently you can describe pretty much any on-field event using these words - although, to be fair, different commentators do have different palettes of adjectives. Some might swap "amazing" for "outstanding" or "dangerous" for "powerful" but they'll still restrict themselves to just the three.
"Great", "amazing" and "powerful". Apparently you can describe pretty much any on-field event using these words - although, to be fair, different commentators do have different palettes of adjectives. Some might swap "amazing" for "outstanding" or "dangerous" for "powerful" but they'll still restrict themselves to just the three.
False claims that the ball has been hit "out of the ground": 19
Not every big shot involves the ball being hit out of the ground. If you're on commentary, there's an easy way to tell whether this phrase is applicable or not. Is the ball still in the ground? If it is, the ball has not been hit out of the ground - it was just a plain old six.
Full postNot every big shot involves the ball being hit out of the ground. If you're on commentary, there's an easy way to tell whether this phrase is applicable or not. Is the ball still in the ground? If it is, the ball has not been hit out of the ground - it was just a plain old six.
'Do you think about the Ashes when you're with me?'
Players' love lives affected by focus on upcoming mother of all series
R Rajkumar
05-Apr-2013
It's the one question every English or Australian cricketer dreads hearing the most from his wife or partner.
Should he tell her the truth and put his relationship at risk? Or should he remain quiet and lead a tortured double life, taking his terrible secret to the grave?
While there has in recent times been increased awareness and understanding of an issue clearly more widespread than once thought to be, and more support these days for cricketers and their disturbed families as they face up to the realities of this problem (notwithstanding a short-lived Australian don't-ask-don't-tell policy), evidence suggests that most players continue to choose the path of least resistance by keeping mum.
Full postDhoni harasses press
And other vital bits of news you've no doubt missed, you lazy slob
R Rajkumar
29-Mar-2013
Dhoni harasses press
Having proved his critics in the media wrong after unexpectedly routing the Australians in the Test series, MS Dhoni has adopted a combative approach to dealing with the press, often responding to questions with barbed, condescending ripostes. But he isn't stopping there. According to sources, Dhoni has taken to following members of the press home on his motorbike, heckling them all the way about how "you were wrong and I was right", and pausing only to thumb his nose at them while breaking into a particularly childish rendition of "nanny nanny boo boo."
Having proved his critics in the media wrong after unexpectedly routing the Australians in the Test series, MS Dhoni has adopted a combative approach to dealing with the press, often responding to questions with barbed, condescending ripostes. But he isn't stopping there. According to sources, Dhoni has taken to following members of the press home on his motorbike, heckling them all the way about how "you were wrong and I was right", and pausing only to thumb his nose at them while breaking into a particularly childish rendition of "nanny nanny boo boo."
"It doesn't end there," said one senior editor. "In the morning when I come out of my house, I sometimes see him waiting for me, calling me names. He's become this insufferable bully." The editor said he was considering getting personal security and having his number changed, as he was tired of the calls at midnight. "I'd recognise the sound of that heavy breathing anywhere" he said.
How England won the day in Auckland
England's heroic draw against New Zealand can apparently be attributed in no small part to superstition. Two of the ways in which Cook and Co ensured England held on for a draw are as follows:
Full postEngland's heroic draw against New Zealand can apparently be attributed in no small part to superstition. Two of the ways in which Cook and Co ensured England held on for a draw are as follows:
'Me hungry!'
And other primal urges in this week's Twitter round-up
Alex Bowden
28-Mar-2013
What makes a cricketer? This week we focus on language skills, parental influence and - as always - diet. We also weigh the importance of dog size versus competitive spirit to no great effect.
The highlights
Graeme Swann enjoyed watching his team-mates salvage a draw from back home in England.
Full postGraeme Swann enjoyed watching his team-mates salvage a draw from back home in England.
'You can't have tea tea'
Rage over erroneously named foods and more in this week's Twitter round-up
Alex Bowden
21-Mar-2013
Follow too many cricketers on Twitter and you'd be forgiven for thinking that the microblogging site is not a medium that lends itself to discussion of complex issues. Not so. This week we tackle all the important stuff: beverage nomenclature, meteorological ramifications, and bag identification. We also learn a hell of a lot about the preparation and evaluation of foodstuffs.
The tautology
Ravi Bopara's incensed.
Full postRavi Bopara's incensed.
Cricket fraternity aghast at McCullum remark
All the shocking news you missed in recent days
R Rajkumar
20-Mar-2013
Dhawan brings new hope to the moustachioed
Shikhar Dhawan's stunning debut against Australia means a lot of things to a lot of people, but perhaps most to a struggling, silent minority all too often overlooked in cricket: the moustachioed.
Shikhar Dhawan's stunning debut against Australia means a lot of things to a lot of people, but perhaps most to a struggling, silent minority all too often overlooked in cricket: the moustachioed.
A lot of people laughed when Dhawan started twisting the points of his 'tache after reaching his maiden hundred, but for this much-maligned and misunderstood community, it was the equivalent of the Black Panther salute at the medals podium in the '68 Olympics, and what that gesture meant for human rights.
"It's a new day for the likes of us," said one teary-eyed emerging player who described himself as having had, up until Dhawan's gesture, "the face of a handlebar moustache trapped behind the face of a forcibly clean-shaven one".
Full postThey don't make 'em like that anymore
Or do they? A look at how Chappelli's Australia would react to a homework assignment
Samantha Pendergrast
18-Mar-2013
The Australian dressing room, Headingley, July 29, 1972
Ian Chappell: All right, you bastards. That was a shameful defeat. I want answers. I'm not going back home having lost the Ashes twice in a row. Before we leave the dressing room, I want each of you bastards to write down three reasons why we lost, and what we can do to win at The Oval.
Doug Walters: (with a cigarette between his lips) You want answers?
Full post'I think Hughesy has something wrong with his bum'
Expert physiological analysis and more in this week's Twitter round-up
Alex Bowden
14-Mar-2013
No prizes for guessing the focus of this week's Twitter round-up, and as ever, the nature of the foremost microblogging site means that we will be tackling the matter in great depth. We won't just be looking at the rights and wrongs of Australia's decision to suspend four players, the discussion will also lead us to answer questions about culture, contentment and maturity.
The punishment
Andrew Flintoff gives the English view on this week's events.
Full postAndrew Flintoff gives the English view on this week's events.
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